Struggling To find My Place

Bored? Me, Bored? No, I have too much to do! And that’s probably my problem. I need to do, this, this, and this, but I want to do, this, this, and this! The problem with this is, I tell myself, “If you don’t do this, this, and this, you can’t do this, this, and this!” Confused yet? I know I am! 🙂

Read all the way through, because there’s a quiz at the end! 🙂

I have been contemplating applying for a library assistant position. I meet all of their qualifications, it’s part time, and the pay is good, but…I’m afraid. Why?

We all come to a fork in the road throughout our lives. We have to make choices and then hope they are the right ones.

There are only two things in this life that you have no choice over, and that you have to do, and that’s breathing, and dying.

I know you’re saying, “but I have to eat! And I have to pay my rent!”

“No, it’s your choice as to what, where, and when  you eat. And if you want a place to live, you choose to pay your rent.”

“But what about things that are forced on us? Things that we never chose? Things like, fire, floods, earthquakes, rape, abuse, and cancer?”

“Yes, some things are forced on us, but it’s our choice as to how we deal with them. I didn’t choose for my son to be diagnosed with leukemia in 1987 and neither did he, or the thousands of other children all over the world, that were diagnosed at that moment in time, and as parents we all had to make a choice as to how we would deal with it. Some parents walked away, leaving their child to go into foster care. And yes, I can hear you saying, ‘That’s horrible!’ But it’s not our place to judge them. It was their choice. One that they have to live with.

I have had many goals, and made many choices throughout my life.  I started college with the goal of opening a board and care for the elderly, but that goal was put on hold , and eventually abandoned,when I was hired by a rental car company. I started my own gift basket business and left the rental car company, opened up my own gift shop and closed it 3 years later, and started writing. Have I ever regretted some of my choices? No, not really.

So what I’m afraid of is, If I were to apply and get hired, would I put my writing on hold, or abandon it completely?

Did you make new year’s resolutions? Did you put down, go to the gym three days a week? Or how about lose ten pounds? Were those on last year’s resolutions, also? Maybe, you gave them up after you had a double decker cheeseburger and triple thick chocolate malt, and you told yourself, oh screw it, I’ll lose 10 pounds next year” 🙂

I know many of you have full time jobs and still manage to keep your writing on task, and you are telling me that I can work and write, but things happen, and life gives us new choices, and paths to follow. We come to a fork in the road and have to choose which way to go.

I have many projects that I have started on and then put them aside. Like the two half finished crochet vests I am making, or my half finished kitchen, where only one side has been painted. 🙂 If I were to die tomorrow, would I be upset with myself for not completing them? No, but I would be upset with myself if I haven’t completed the books I am working on.

Another thing that will figure into my decision is; I received a 2 star review on another of my books. It is by the same reviewer that gave, “The Good Dr. Grant” a 2 star review. Did it upset me? Absolutely not. Did it make me want to give up writing? No, it has given me the incentive to push myself and work harder. I am going to write a book that she likes, even if it kills me! LOL!

Okay here’s my horoscope for today….

Today January 12, 2013
daily career
Making decisions is not easy, and you won’t find anyone else willing to shoulder the responsibility that belongs to you. A piece of shocking news will further upset your equilibrium. Get your act together as soon as possible.

So if I don’t apply, will I regret it? Or if I do apply and get hired…UGH! I know the choice is mine to make, and mine only.

And here are a couple of blogs to check out, that you might like to see what choices they have made.

http://cultofajracewood.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/in-a-fog/

http://bxwretlind.com/blog/2013/01/10/an-important-decision-made-more-important-by-the-liberal-use-of-capital-letters/

No not really a quiz, just a question, but I am happy you read all the way through!

Now here’s my question for you, Have you ever made a choice that has put your goals on hold, or made you abandon them completely? 

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• Tagged: blogs, bored, choices, fork in the road, leukemia, library, parents, resolutions, writing