Treat everyday as a new adventure

Struggling To find My Place

Bored? Me, Bored? No, I have too much to do! And that’s probably my problem. I need to do, this, this, and this, but I want to do, this, this, and this! The problem with this is, I tell myself, “If you don’t do this, this, and this, you can’t do this, this, and this!” Confused yet? I know I am! 🙂

Read all the way through, because there’s a quiz at the end! 🙂

I have been contemplating applying for a library assistant position. I meet all of their qualifications, it’s part time, and the pay is good, but…I’m afraid. Why?

We all come to a fork in the road throughout our lives. We have to make choices and then hope they are the right ones.

There are only two things in this life that you have no choice over, and that you have to do, and that’s breathing, and dying.

I know you’re saying, “but I have to eat! And I have to pay my rent!”

“No, it’s your choice as to what, where, and when  you eat. And if you want a place to live, you choose to pay your rent.”

“But what about things that are forced on us? Things that we never chose? Things like, fire, floods, earthquakes, rape, abuse, and cancer?”

“Yes, some things are forced on us, but it’s our choice as to how we deal with them. I didn’t choose for my son to be diagnosed with leukemia in 1987 and neither did he, or the thousands of other children all over the world, that were diagnosed at that moment in time, and as parents we all had to make a choice as to how we would deal with it. Some parents walked away, leaving their child to go into foster care. And yes, I can hear you saying, ‘That’s horrible!’ But it’s not our place to judge them. It was their choice. One that they have to live with.

I have had many goals, and made many choices throughout my life.  I started college with the goal of opening a board and care for the elderly, but that goal was put on hold , and eventually abandoned,when I was hired by a rental car company. I started my own gift basket business and left the rental car company, opened up my own gift shop and closed it 3 years later, and started writing. Have I ever regretted some of my choices? No, not really.

So what I’m afraid of is, If I were to apply and get hired, would I put my writing on hold, or abandon it completely?

Did you make new year’s resolutions? Did you put down, go to the gym three days a week? Or how about lose ten pounds? Were those on last year’s resolutions, also? Maybe, you gave them up after you had a double decker cheeseburger and triple thick chocolate malt, and you told yourself, oh screw it, I’ll lose 10 pounds next year” 🙂

I know many of you have full time jobs and still manage to keep your writing on task, and you are telling me that I can work and write, but things happen, and life gives us new choices, and paths to follow. We come to a fork in the road and have to choose which way to go.

I have many projects that I have started on and then put them aside. Like the two half finished crochet vests I am making, or my half finished kitchen, where only one side has been painted. 🙂 If I were to die tomorrow, would I be upset with myself for not completing them? No, but I would be upset with myself if I haven’t completed the books I am working on.

Another thing that will figure into my decision is; I received a 2 star review on another of my books. It is by the same reviewer that gave, “The Good Dr. Grant” a 2 star review. Did it upset me? Absolutely not. Did it make me want to give up writing? No, it has given me the incentive to push myself and work harder. I am going to write a book that she likes, even if it kills me! LOL!

Okay here’s my horoscope for today….

Today January 12, 2013
daily career
Making decisions is not easy, and you won’t find anyone else willing to shoulder the responsibility that belongs to you. A piece of shocking news will further upset your equilibrium. Get your act together as soon as possible.

So if I don’t apply, will I regret it? Or if I do apply and get hired…UGH! I know the choice is mine to make, and mine only.

And here are a couple of blogs to check out, that you might like to see what choices they have made.



No not really a quiz, just a question, but I am happy you read all the way through!

Now here’s my question for you, Have you ever made a choice that has put your goals on hold, or made you abandon them completely? 


  1. Karen, lots of decisions along the way changed lots of things. I got married and had kids, and gave up my search for an academic position. And until the last few years, everything I did pushed my writing aside.

    But in a way it was my part-time job as a library aide that finally inspired me to write more and gave me both the idea for “The Ninja Librarian” and the encouragement to finish it (because my co-workers loved the stories).


    • Hi Rebecca
      I kind of thought about it that way too. That it might actually help me in my writing. I’ll have to make a decision one way or the other, because Monday is the deadline to apply 🙂


  2. Apply. Then decide if they offer you the job. If you don’t even apply, no options.


  3. Apply! Like you said its only part time, there will still be time to write. And if it comes down to quitting writing books after you finish the stories you’ve started, then so be it. You have thought so many different callings were yours and maybe they were…at the time, then your calling changes as you change. You always said everything happens for a reason.


    • Hey Stacy They have about 32 positions open throughout San Bernardino County. Why don’t you apply too? 🙂


      • Maybe after the four year old starts school this year, but right now she won’t let me leave her side. Haha


  4. It always comes down to what’s best for you and yours.


    • Hi Tim! You are right. We always need to do what’s best for everyone involved and it would be nice to have a guaranteed paycheck once again, but I’m still not exactly sure what my motives are for going back out into the workforce, and that’s what I think is holding me back. But I have decided to apply and let the chips fall where they may 🙂


  5. I agree with the others in that you should at least apply and see what happens. No reason to stress until you have the decision to make. And, you will figure out how to balance it all. That is what life is all about. Making adjustments and learning how to fit it all in. Good luck and can’t wait to hear what you decide.


    • Hi Sydney! Well, I have decided to apply. That’s the first step. I believe there are 32 positions available, that will be filled over the next six months. Test day is the 4th of February. So we will see what happens.


  6. I’ve found through the years that most every change turns out to be good– even if it leads you astray. Obligations are something we all must live with because they touch the ones we love. Do what you think is right, Karen and it will be good.


    • I agree, Dannie. I don’t regret any of my detours. Actually, I’d be hard pressed to tell which parts of my life are detours and which the main road. I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be.


    • Hi Dannie. I haven’t regretted changes and I do enjoy learning new things and meeting new people, it’s just I’m not sure if I’m ready for a change right now. 🙂 Even though I know it is time for me to get back out into the world, so to speak, it still can be scary.


  7. Don’t not do something because you’re scared. That’s often the best reason to do it, (though I draw the line at sky-diving). Delving into social media was scary for me. Publishing my books was also scary. I’m not saying that going back to work is something you should do–just don’t fear be your guide.


    • Hi Diana
      Sky-diving? I’m afraid to even get on an airplane 🙂 I think my biggest thing is, I have gotten used to staying home. But there are other drawbacks, like having to work weekends and evenings. I don’t like to drive after dark, because I have a touch of night blindness. But on the other hand, I think working with the public in a library will be much easier then dealing with some in the retail industry.


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